I am down south

Singapore is where i am now and boerd to death is what the state that i was in a few days ago. Thanks to Rohaizad, he kinda saves my day from total boredom. If it is not him, i'll be bored to the max by now and not even know what singapore is all about. As a tourist and a weird one, i am never interested in looking at all the tourist attraction (e.g. commercial parks, shopping malls, night safari, etc) as i am more interested in how the life of a singaporean is all about. But bringing my sis in law's 2 nieces kind kill it. all they ever were interested in is arcade, arcade, and more arcade and this is totally boring. Well, most of the shopping complexes have it but thats all we do. Any shopping that my bro would bring me to have to have the arcade or else you will see on kinda face from them. not that they would ever complain but you can see from the expression that they are bored and what else can we do but to bring them to the arcade and leave them there. You might asked, why not just leave them there and let them venture around...well provided they want to. they are so not into shopping and looking around. I kinda know how they feel since all Singapore has is mall here and mall there and mall everywhere. not much to do...not even in Sentosa which is another downfall place to not to be in. Well...we'll see how it goes then. be back on Saturday but then i still need to work on Sunday. What a bummer=. Till then...update later.

Life changes in every moment!

Tonight show has made me realize something. There is no precaution in life that nothing will not happen in our life. no matter how careful we are towards something, there are bound to have mistakes. we try our level best to be careful but at times, we forget cause we never did jot it down or we are just too confident that we will remember. i made a mistake today. though it is not major, i feel bad. what will the audience think when they read the slides. as i know ENGLISH too well, same word can have different meaning, different words will have another impact.

tonight aura was not really good. we are just too overconfident or when something has become a routine, we forgot that it is different At least i have forgotten what Rohaizad has told me once. "in acting, everything has to be new. the experience has to be new no matter what and how many times that we have done it'. i have failed him and i have just did.

It's a holiday...!

YEAH...! No more teaching. Ahahahaha...! I think I can be even more happier than all my kids come together. While they are worrying about getting to the university that the have asked for or not, i'll be happily sitting in the house and relaxing but of course lah have to minus the three days that i have to come back to the school to do some counselling. Ceh!! That should be the only thing that can spoil my hoilday. With a relax mind, i should be able to concentrate on lots of things that i have put off so far and with the Lecturer in KL, i was able to achieve my dream. To work in a production. That should be a good start for my holiday.

Today is already the last two days that I'll be in Annex. Central Market helping my director cum lecturer out in his show Perempuan, Isteri dan Jambu. Not that i'll get anything materialistic out of it but i am happy. at last, after the whole month of not doing anything at night, it has made me realised how much i have missed theatre. i have missed all the run around, all the acting and all the things that i used to love to do. it is not a wonder why they say that if you do something that you like, you don't actually feel tired. i am tired now. have been getting only 6 hours of sleep lately while the rest was spent in taylors and annex. but what the heck, i am not complaining. it is fun. as tired as it sounds, i think i am more tired of teaching the extra at night than to run the show for a few weeks in a row.

come to think of it, i am still thinking. should i continue on with my tuition that can give me quite an amount of extra money or virously involve with the arts that doesn't come with anything at times, sometimes. i wonder?

Shabu Shabu

i went to shabu shabu yesterday for diner at bandar puteri puchong and i was amazed by the food there man. i went to the shabu shabu that was located on the opposite of giant and it was fantastic. the food was delicious and the sauce was great. I dunno how they make it but i am in love with that place. with the amount of choices that they have and the portion of 2 item in each small tray, you be amazed by the amount of food that you can eat. i ate like a pig yesterday not knowing how much have i actually eaten. all i know was i ate and ate and ate until i was like full.

on top of that, this shop is the only shop that will give you fruit blended as drinks. since it is a buffet, you can refill. judging by the sense of taste, their cordial is made from sun quick alike and ribena alike. so...it was like worth while to spend some time eating your heart content. i drank at least 5 cups of those things.

the only downfall of that place is that it is not halal but it is also their strongest point coz their main one time dish, real thin slice pork, is the most delicious dish of them all. especially if you eat it with their superbly made sauce.

for those who are reading, hey..bring your parents there. i guarantee you'll like it.

I am so tired!!

I am so tired. all the marking is killing me slowly and driving me bonkers. well...this is partially my fault for marking it so late but what the heck. i did this everytime. so last minute huh. nah...i have realise that the marking takes longer this time than last year. maybe this is because i have so much to do this year that i dunno where to start. i just do what i feel like doing without much disipline. like now...i am supposed to be marking but i end up updating my blog. i feel kinda attached to the blog that i feel unease after so long that i din update it. but then...what else can i write except that i mark this on today...i mark that on that day....i mark this on the other day. hahahaha...i think i am slowly losing my identity and myself. BONKERS!

May God Help Me!!!

God how I hate this phrase. Why do people always believe that god will help people when all you ever do is pray. Do you think god will really help you when you didn't even give it a start. I am so tired of the yearly question of 'Sir, what's the format like?' 'Go to BB6 and check it out yourself.' 'I am lazy to go to BB6 yo check it out lah.' Hello, although I am your teacher, do you think I would smilling happily and answer that question. This kind of question only reflects on how bad and lazy you are to the extend that you don't even care about your own learning. So in other words, why should I waste my breath helping people out knowing that it is not going to bear any results. If you want notes, explanations, it is all in BB6. Format, notes and it is all up to you whether you want to do your part as a student or not. If not, then I also not lah. My style is simple, you give yourself the chance, I'll try my very best to make sure that you get it right. You give me lazy answer and prefer to do Maths, then by all means, don't waste my energy and time. One is because I know that it is not going to be appreciated. Two, why bother to help. Help yourself first before god can help you. If you think that ESL is easy, yeah it is till English. But then, it still needs some practise. So, help yourself on that issue.

Being in a Profession - Willingly or Plain Stupid.

Had a talk with RC and CL yesterday about some issues that were being brought up recently when the bossies want us to be closer to them than not and there our heated arguements went on with how much do the students really know about our position in the organization. They always thought that because they pay us so much, therefore all the money will be ours in the taking. So lets say, one student pay RM 5,000 per year and there are 10 people in the class. This sum up to the total of RM 50,000. If there are 5 teachers who teach the class, therefore, each teacher will get RM 10,000. If this simple mathematical question really works that way, then I'll be the riches man on earth and the teaching profession will be something that everyone will be eyeing on cause according to all the people out there in the corporate world, we teachers only teach only and there are nothing else that we all do. Well...excuse me...we teachers suffer the same amount of stress as everyone does although we have the privilages to go back early (by paper only lah coz we always work later than that) and we have the lowest pay in the entire world although with the qualifications that we are holding. My cousin who is a salesman earns RM 500-RM 700 more than my pitiful RM 2+++ salary ok and I am supposed to be in the after sales service cause I have to deliver and mould the product to be sold to the universities. See...we are the same and yet we have the worst pay in the world. If it is not because of passion, I wouldn't even think of joining the teaching force. I like teaching because I like to see different people growing up in their stages of life and not papers growing up in terms of size. I like teaching because I want people to learn. If teachers don't teach for passion, then I think everyone can be a teacher if they are willing to have their pay cut like crazy lah. Sometimes I do wonder, why do I have to be a teacher and not has the ability to own a house, own a car and have much savings even when I know I am nearing 30. Life is so much fun when one is rich to a certain extend. If I was a girl, I would definately marry a RICH old dying man so that I can be rich in a zip. But then, I am not a girl and I am not that wicked and I do loves my students to grow up like a gentleman or a lady. Provided they don't drive me up the wall.

I am so tired...

Many things had happened. Things had just happened too fast to the extend that i don't even have time to update this faithful blog of mine. Too many happy things and sad things happened at the same time but the sequence would always be sad first before one can have happiness. After that tough week, things started to chill down fo me. I thought tha bad more bad things would come but I was totally wrong. So many good things had happened then and now it is still happening although most of the time it drained my energy away. Like for instance, I had been so busy that it didn't even look like a holiday to me at all. Waking up at 7.30am almost everyday to prepare for some lessons, I am completely dead now but I couldnt really sleep. Maybe it is because the time to sleep has just passed by.

As I mentioned earlier, many good things had happened in my life. The first thing was the company trip to Cameron Highland with Ms. Kwa, Cherl, Azeena and the most of all, Mr Sami. My roommate. After going to the trip with him, I have finally abled to learn that Mr. Sami is not that quiet a person after all. Although he is not the most funniest guy on earth, but he has the most secret that none of knew. MAybe it is because we didn't bother to say hi until lately. I just found out that he used to be in a band, of course lah after I deaf his ear with my lollipop song until to the extend the whole group actually laughed at me for being so 'doink' and has the ability to sing that song. Although I sound like Donald Duck, i have realised that I am also a vocal gymast with the ability almost like Mika but a bit more on the bad side lah. Hmm...where is our cameron picture ah. let me find it first....(opps...it is in my thumbdrive downstairs...lazy to get lah).

After the Cameron trip...then it was the tiring but fun activity where a group of students had shown me the side that I have longed put aside since i joined SAM...theatre. The group consisted of Hui Hua, Wee Kiat, Hardeep, Wai Beng, Azfar, Kay, Auni, Fatin, Hakim, Honey, Chong Siang, Samuel, Stella, Ain, Atif, Asif, and Yi Wen and not fogetting my 'big sister' Rajani have shown me that I have once used to like to do and am still am like to act and to play roles in theatre. Thanks to them...esp Yi Wen and Azfar who stood by me all the time when i was running around during the performance day was a big help. Although it was nothing great out of the expectation coz there are something that had gone wrong, I was very happy that things pulled out the way it was. Most of it of course went to those who had bravely stood on the stage for me and those who had supported me from the back since the begining. I was happy that the performance went quite smooth for the Yellow House last day and the happiest moment of them all was when the kids clapped their hands to show that they enjoyed it and when John came up to me and point the little wand and said "Hakuna Matata." That showed that they really did paid attention to the show and I was very happy about that. Without my angels, without them, I don't think I would be able to pull this altogether.

The last thing that happened to me recently was that the new additions to my familes (the gadget and my extended family) have just arrived. Being irrational in my head and the reason that I had jsut gotten my Public Bank CC, I finally bought myself a PDA after much thought and calculation. I bought an ASUS P535. Although it might not have the highest in everything, at least I am happy that I bought it and now I can finally planned my planning slightly better with a PDA in my hand. Of course, this is also the gadget that will keep me moving from doing my master faster now that I felt a bit more guilty for buying it anyway. Other than the addition to my gadget family, my sister in law just gave birth to my niece yesterday and I was very happy about it. Yeah...I am an uncle again and this time, I am an uncle to a fat baby girl. She was so cute. I wanted to put her picture in but I have realised that the picture is in my PDA and I didn't bring the card reader back. Guess that I have to upload the pictures agian am i. but what the heck...I am happy.

Well....there are also one thing that I am still keeping and it is still haunting my head. With another 3 months, I am going to miss my 2007 kids again. After losing my 2006 kids, I don't know if I am able to go through this again. It is always like that when you finally able to see all your little brothers and sisters spreading their wings to the world outside. Although this year, I wasn't as close to them as last year, there are still some of them whom I am going to miss. Hmm...come to think of it, this year, I wasnt on MSN as much as last year. No wonder my circle was a bit small. Well...what the heck...we can always catch up nexy year...in this chat box..rite?

It's a hard week!!

I have a dream. Built. Concrete. Stable. But due to my own recklessness, it was shattered. I thought that I would be strong. I thought that I could climb back. I thought that I could fight the emotions. But it was all I could. I was weak. Very weak.

First time ever in my entire life, I cried. I cried solemnly in my heart. Hiding my true colors from the rest of the world. It was saddening, but I feel a bit better now. Now I know why we need someone who could understand us, who loves us, who cares for us.

I have a dream. Life is fragile. Dream and image us even worse. All it takes is a button and we are in hell. I blame myself for being foolish. To be a weakling. To be not strong enough. Maybe I am not a good educator for a start. I am just not good enough to be a teacher. A leader. Weak, stupid, and not firm enough at all.. After what I have gone through this week, I have learnt. I am never good in anything. Acting, teaching or even singing. It is all so bad.

I have a dream. I used to have a dream. A dream of a happy life with the one that i love. One who stands by through thick and thin. I have a dream. It is all a dream.

Time Flies

Time flies, time flies
Passes you by, passes you by,
without realising, without realising,
time flies, time flies.

Time flies when you're having fun,
Time flies when you're busy with your work,
Time flies when your kids are having exam,
Time flies when you least expect it to be.

Time flies, time flies,
Passes you by, passes you by,
With you least realising, with you least realising,
Time flies, time flies.

Time has passed by so fast that it is already Wednesday,
Time has passed by so fast that it is already the 2nd half of the year,
Time has passed by so fast that I don't even know what has I done,
Time has passed by so fast that I am so lost in my own world now.

Time flies, time flies,
Passes you by, passes you by,
With you think it's tomorrow, tomorrow,
Time flies, time flies.

We started the course by seeing all your eager looks,
Which now has turned to a stress looks,
We started the course with you all being nice,
Which now has turned into some noisy bunch,
We started the course with you being so naive,
Which now has turned to become such intelligent soul (minus the the ever so blur one and the ever so rebellious one),
We started the course with you barely knew me,
Which now has turned that you know every corner of my weakness.

Time flies, time flies.
Passes you by, passes you by,
I just wished that time can be slower,
So that I can spend more time with you being here to SUFFER.

HAHAHAHA...!!!
Cheers SAM 2007

Charity

I can never understand what it means by Charity nowadays. Seeing what is currently happening in the college, it actually sparks my brain to start thinking about Charity. Is charity all about having a show or a concert, and with the collection from the show, donate everything to the NGOs? Is this what you call charity? This is actually what is happening in the college. Here we are, in the name of charity, and have all sorts of concerts so that we can have fun and at the same time donate it to the needys. Is this what you call charity? Which one should come first. Charity or fun. In this context, it is more like fun. We have fun by having all sorts of concerts. All the concerts are supposed to help us to relax ourselves because we are so stress up and at the same time...do some good by donating all the money. Donate! Donate! and thats all we do. We don't even bother to go there, have a look at them, and help them out in anyway that we can. But then...just donate some money and let the NGO to continue on with whatever that they can do to help. That is really what you call by charity in this college.

What has happened to the real meaning of charity where you go to the NGO and ask them how you can help the needys in term of lending a helping hand? What has happened to all that. Not that the students have anything more important to do. They are free most of the time and therefore they should be able to go there to help out. At least, with this way, the students will really learn what is charity is all about. Not just by donating. If we imply to the kids that charity is all about organzing events and donating money, no wonder now in Malaysia, this is what they are only thinking of. They don't even know what kind of things all the unfortunate have to go through, In other words, the objective is good, to do a concert for charity, but the outcome is bad. They never know and learn what have the unfortunate have gone through and thats the best thing in this world.

Yellow House

Oh...I went to the Yellow House activity last few weeks ago and I had plenty of fun. This is what I have done and also what the orphanage has done. Yellow House in Taylors is basically set-up by Ms. Rajani and Mr. Yong to help out the orphanages by bringing them to Taylors and built a strong rapport between the kids and the students. This way, the students will be able to see the hardship of these kids. I went to the programme the other day to see how it was being conducted and I joined one of the groups to make a fish out of it. It was very happy to see the kids smilling and kids being kids would always melt my heart away.

The only problem now was that they at times need some sponsors so that they can give a better support to these kids especially in their final outing in Taylors which is supposed to be grand for them. For those who are interested in helping out (those who are reading this blog, you can always ask your parents to help out by giving donation), you can always contact Ms Rajani at rajani.c@taylors.edu.my or Mr Yong at yong.fooseng@taylors.edu.my. Any form of contribution will be given to the orphanage directly.

Transformer

Yeah!! I finally got to watch it on Saturday and it is a must watch. I got so much into it that I have decided that I must get a copy of the DVD to watch it. Although most of robots are the same, but then, some have changed as well. First of all, I wonder why suddenly Bumblebee have become from such a lousy car to a sport car but then I am not complaining. Same goes with Megatron which supposed to be a very high performance gun to a space crafts.

Regardless of what it is, it is a nice movie to watch and I totally feel in love with it. Most of it is also because I grew up watching Transformer and I was mesmerize by it since then. Especially in the cartoon where there are more robots than this. I don't really quite like the new Transformer by the Japanese coz it is very confusing and it looks so much like Power Ranger. Nothing like the old 2D cartoon version.

To the kids of the world, watch the classic Transformer and I can guarantee that you'll love it. It is really much more better than this version and any version in particular. Oh there's another Transformer which I hate which is the Beast War. Stupid transformer with very little robots only.

Presentation

Nothing has ever happened for the past few weeks. Things were in control mostly because it was presentation week and there was no teaching at all. The only real teaching starts this Thursday and it is going to be something that I hate to teach. One is because it is Text Production and Two is because it is literature and the kids can never seem to be able to grasp the foundation of what literature is all about. Is literature really that hard? I thought literature is a form of an art that doesn't need prior knowledge to understand and literature is always something that can be both right and wrong at the same time coz there are no facts involve in any issues. Is all about how one sees it? If that is the case, then why do the kids find it hard to understand?

House...

It is the time of the year again where time moved too fast from the things that we need to do. I am bored. My life has no sense of direction lately as there are nothing in the moment that can sparkle my life. I need something that can spark my interest and that can make my life a better place to be but then, my roomie is not giving that to me. Now I could understand why women always complain that men sometimes are a bit too stupid when it comes to EQ. They will and can never detect whether and why someone is not happy. Judging to the fact that if he is not my roomie, i don't really blame him as I always put on a show that I am happy eventhough I am not. But then, when I am in the confined space, I am not. I sulk a lot. Maybe it is because I am too tired all the time and there is nothing exciting happening in my life now. I wanna cry! I wanna shout! I wanna break free from this common motion of going to work day and night. I need my life where I can express myself all the time. I miz theatre classes where I can scream and play as much as I want. I miss all these. I miss all these.

I need a guardian angelk to guide me through this. Sometimes I just dun understand if men are made it is away that they can be so selfish as until they can even turn their best friend into enemies in just a minute based on something that they have no interior motives on. Is men really that selfish? Is human really that selfish? Is the world really are like that until to the extend that I am the only one who gives way to people whatever they want if they are my friend? I don't know. I am really lost. I wanted to cry and I really do. I am tired. Very tired. Ijust don't want all these problems to exist especially if it involves a parking bay, and 2 close friends in the same house. I really wanted to move out of the house. To stay away from a problem that both men are so stupid until both doesn't want to move even a bit.

URMI

It has been a long break since I last saw a theatre production and last saturday, I went for a play called URMI. It was based on the Tempest by William Shakespear and was adapted to suit the Balinese setting. The show cost me a wholesome of RM 40 and it was not as good as it supposed to be although it has a lot of sponsors and was held at Istana Budaya. For once, the show was a bit lame in terms of the storyline. Not that Shakespear can write a good storyline to begin with but topping with the icing of bad and confusing choreoraphy, it made things worse. Out of no where, you can have a gal walking on the centre stage and perform belly dancing which was like, what the heck was she doing that for. There was no co-relation between the girl and the show. But then, it doesn't mean that the girl can't dance. Her shaking was superb.

Oh, not only that. There were these 3 Indian men who one played with 2 thin strips of metal and the other two blowing fire which supposed to represent what the Balinese do, was absurb. The came out of the stage, perform less and than 1 minutes and you have the protagonist yelling to them to stop the performance because it ruined the show for the newly wed. I was like, huh? Confused by it. If you intend to use it for less than a minute, then why put it there in the first place. It doesn't serve a purpose.

Haih! The only thing that I could talk nicely about the show was the nice backdrop. That one, with the amount of sponsorship they are getting, should be good. At least that worth my RM 40 ringgit. It's not really a show to watch. Better go and watch Fantastic Four.

Gomenasai!

It has been 2 weeks since I have last updated the blog. Well...it is just that I don't have enough time to update it...well...you see...I have plenty of things to do you know, like...just don't have enough time lah.

Hahahaha...common reasons that a person will give whenever they haven't fulfilled their obligations. Like me. It all boils down to a simple reason, plain lazy.

Yup, I have been lazying around for the past 2 weeks and the only thing that I had accomplished from the piles of work that I have was marking the exam papers. That also was because I must hand up the marks on yesterday. If not, you know the rest.

I wonder sometimes if self motivation really works for everyone. I know it doesn't work for me. I have even set my targets to do all sorts of things during the weekends and all I have ever accomplished was one out of a few. i told myself that I would start doing my research paper and what was the update now, nothing. I told myself that I would go back to IH and FIC to meet up with my ex-colleagues and here I was sleeping in house doing particularly nothing but playing with Kingdom Hearts.

Haih!!! My life is such a mess because of my lack of self-discipline. The worse part is, I shouldn't be doing this as I am supposed to be someone who is a motivator. Motivating people to be successful in their life so that they won't need to suffer like I do now. Hahahaha...it is such as irony.

Life for the 2 weeks was wonderful though. The only thing that I had ever did was eat, sleep, play Kingdom Heart and get myself broke. Oh....other than that, I have also gone to Melaka for my food. Ah...the nice cendol and the nice Jonker walk. It wasn't that fun though in Jonker walk because I went there slightly too early to even enjoy the walk at all coz the crowds weren't there at all. Hmm...maybe with time, I would be able to post some pictures that I have taken on the Satay Celup that I have taken during the trip. But then, will see how. The 'malasness' from the holiday is still living in my bones.

Ah...with school starts, life is a mess for me again. Messy as it may seem, but I have made a pack not to use too much ICT for this sem liao. ICT makes the class a bit boring with slides after slides after slides after slides. It was fun at first though, but I missed the paper and pen classes. Don't you agree?

Celebration in May

Last week was a relaxing week minus all the commotion around during the weekdays but it was fun. We had teachers on Thursday and yes for those who are happily reading the chat box now, you know what has happened. Well....first of all before I go on with whatever that I am supposed to write, thank you for all of you guys for giving me such wonderful parties although I do pity the Kakaks who have to clean the entire TUCMC after us :-P. We heard the that the classrooms was in an entire mess. Wahahaha....

Anyway, a big thank you for all the pizzas, Cindy's nice tuna sandwiches and the drinks. Oh...not to forget my wonderful Mc Breakfast that came with a muffin which was delicious. A big thank you and hug.

Anyway, that day was superb but sadly there was one downfall of it. I pitied the students who had spent so much money throwing the things for us and all we could spend there was like 5 minutes because we only had 1 hours to mingle in 4 classes. How can. Not even enough time to chat around with them. Just to say hi and bye only. Ceh. Haih...what to do, that was the plan.

But then I end up most of my time with my mentees in L2 and played with all the games until kena 'YouTube'. So...geram with TX now.

Then after the teachers' day, it was PD day. Yeah, training with a guy called Adam Khoo. Man he was a great speaker. Better than last year too. All of us laughed our heads off the instant he opened his mouth. Man, it was so hilarious. For those who are interested, he is a profesional trainer. Very good in training people. His favourite motto was 'the past does not equal to the future.' Therefore, we must act now in order for us to have a future. Very powerful motto I must say.

Anyhow, it was fun having both celebration back to back. At least I was not in teaching. Got a rest before the marking begins as next week is the mid-term exam already.

ESL Folio

The due is tomorrow and the kids are driving me mad since yesterday itself. I just couldn't understand the nature of the kids nowadays. I know that human loves to do last minute work and even I do last minute work but when we do last minute work, we have to make sure that we know how to do it even before hand so that we don't need to struggle like some crazy bozos at the end when we need to produce the product. And here I have students who asked me how to do this and that when all the things are already in BB6. I know that BB6 is a hassle but that doesn't mean that you are not responsible of your own learning. I wonder how in the world will they survive when they go oversea. Die even faster than they are dying here now. It is not hard to learn how to do research if you know the format and the needs since day one. That's the problem with our education system. I really do ponder now what have they learn in the stupid Geography and History projects?

ESL Folio

The due is tomorrow and the kids are driving me mad since yesterday itself. I just couldn't understand the nature of the kids nowadays. I know that human loves to do last minute work and even I do last minute work but when we do last minute work, we have to make sure that we know how to do it even before hand so that we don't need to struggle like some crazy bozos at the end when we need to produce the product. And here I have students who asked me how to do this and that when all the things are already in BB6. I know that BB6 is a hassle but that doesn't mean that you are not responsible of your own learning. I wonder how in the world will they survive when they go oversea. Die even faster than they are dying here now. It is not hard to learn how to do research if you know the format and the needs since day one. That's the problem with our education system. I really do ponder now what have they learn in the stupid Geography and History projects?

Nothing-ness

Nothing-ness
By Kevin Goh

The stage is dark. After 4 minutes of waiting in the dark, a scream is heard coming from the side of the stage. Sound of nature, fire, snow and thunder moves into the show one by one until it mixes in the end of the sound of thunder. Then, the sound ends abruptly. A light shines onto the centre of the stage from the front, revealing a pair of legs. The legs start to move and slowly a person can be seen on the stage.

Man: The sound of the east. The sound of west. The sound of north. The sound of south. The sound of mother earth. Do you hear it? Do I hear it? It’s a debate. It is not. I have no answer too. I have no vision. I have no flaw. NO FLAW! No fla…? That’s a good one. Humans are born with flaws. The plural one. You have it but I am not sure if I have it. Does that make us the same? Does that make us different? I really wonder.

The man moves out of the light. As man speaks, lights slowly start to be switched on one by one from the centre with a box to the four corners revealing four boxes on the stage. The boxes are green (East), red (West), blue (North) and yellow (South). Man walks to the green box and stands on the green box facing the east.

East: Flawless. That is the word that best describe me now. I am flawless. I am perfect. No mistakes, no problems, nothing stands in my way. Life is complete in away. Working from 10 a.m. while the rest start at 8.30 a.m. Going back by 4 p.m. while the rest work until 5 p.m. I am flawless. With a Benz to drive, a bungalow to stay, a card to swipe, a bill to throw, a cert to buy. 5 Cs, complete! That brings me to a wife to beat, a mistress to cheat and girls to sleep. Flawless. It am really flawless. I see no evil cause I am the devil himself. Am I sane? Am I insane? Am I half-sane? Beats me. I am flawless.

Man walks down from the box. He heads towards the red box. While he was walking….

Man: Flawless was a funny word. Flawless is infinity. But will infinity last? Will infinity ever run out of number? Of luck? Of everything?

Man walks to the red box and hugs the box in a kama-sutra way.

West: Everything might last. Everything could last. Everything would last. Everything is going to last. Infinity is the word. Infinity leads to nothing-ness. But infinity also leads to everything. Whenever a man has something in life, he wants more. I want more. You want more? I don’t know about you but I definitely want more. More bigger Benz to drive, more bungalows to stay, more Platinum cards to swipe, more 1,000 cash bills to throw, more certs to buy. Human satisfaction, according to the Masclow hierarchy, is always true. We want more in life to a stage that we upgrade our live. The way we upgrade? That is not a problem. Depends entirely whether you are sane enough or not. Depends whether you are insane enough. For me, with success, what do you think?

Man kicks the box and smashes the box before he walks off. Man heads towards the blue box. While walking….

Man: Infinity leads to nothing-ness. Infinity leads to number-less. There is no road with infinity in the picture. Infinity will eventually leads to no where.

Man sits behind the blue box.

North: The cold weather in the winter is chilling. Trees are forever white. Bears hibernate through the winter. Birds migrate to a foreign land. Man stays on and die. Flawless. Infinity. Nothing-ness. I have nothing. No more Benz to drive. No more bungalows to stay. No more cards to swipe. No more bills to throw. No more certs to buy. No more 5 Cs to show. That brings me to a wife who beats me, a mistress who cheats me and girls who plays me. Nothing-ness. Everything that I do is futile now. I was a devil once. I was a dictator once. But in reality, I am just Bozo the clown. Mistakes after mistakes. Lies after lies. Eventually, everything will die off. Nothing-ness. Bottomless. Just like the sky with angelic eyes or the core of the earth with fiery eyes. They tell me that I am sane. They tell me that I am insane. What do you think?

Man walks off from the box. He heads towards the yellow box.

Man: How sane is a sane person?
How insane is an insane person?
How insane is a sane person?
How sane is an insane person?

Man walks to the yellow box. Man lies down on the floor and put the yellow box on top of him.

South: The war of a person is lost when he knows that everything that he has owned is gone. Nothing will stand in his way. No one will stand in his way. No way, will be his way. There is nothing for him to stand upon. No one for him to cry upon. Materials bring us joy. Materials bring us greed. Materials bring us pain. I had been successful. I was successful. I have been successful. I am, not successful anymore. If only I have chosen the path correct. Infinity leads to everything. Infinity leads to nothing. That’s the equation that one will have to choose eventually. I have chosen mine, but can you determine yours?

Man walks back to the centre of the stage. Man does a sun salutation and blossom like a flower in spring.

Man: When we fall, we have to wake up. When we cry, we have to wipe out our tears. Pain brought us more than enough pain to cause us a life time of pain. But that doesn’t mean that we cannot blossom like the flower in spring once more. Giving up hope and we will give up in life.

Man does the sun salutation again and blossom like a flower in the spring.

Man: Hope cannot be achieved without determination but determination will bring us back to reality. Is reality really that important or I can leave in a place without reality? Reality can kill us instantly. Reality hurts more than it should hurt us. Reality brought me pain. Reality brought me nothing-ness. Internal dream bring me more joy than anything else. I have chosen mine, but can you choose yours again?

Man does the sun salutation again and dies like a flower in winter.

Man: Regrets I have a lot but there are times when we just need to break down and cry. Greed took my life away. Greed killed me. Greed brought me eternal sleep. I have finally chosen mine, and it is time….

Lights faded in one at a time starting from the blue box to the yellow box.

Tear my hair out, coz I am dying....

Lesson is back to normal. But then, the definition of normal can never be found with all these common tests in between. Monday, students told me, Maths test. Today, bio test (Thank you morning people for giving me the call and reading quietly in the class.). Tomorrow, psychology test. Test here, test there and test everywhere and here we are, teaching them, how to write letters. I wonder if the dissemination of the information can ever move into their heads. Most probrably not. Coming from one who was a student before. Who would be intersted in listening but then, as a human being, we just need to learn how to be a multi-tasker. Doing all sorts of business in one particular time. I have learnt it and now it is time to let the students learn how to be a multi-tasker. Doing everything in one particular time. It's very easy actually, just like doing assignment, surfing the internet, listening to games sound tracks, chatting in MSN and eating at the same time. Multi-tasking. Yeah. That's the way it should be man baby.

I wonder if being a multi-tasker and a last minute worker is really a good thing. I just don't know. It is just that, it is in everybody genes that has altered out vines to move in a way where we are supposed to be lazy and not to be creative or outstanding. Yeah.

Everybody in the world, it is a good sign to be lazy.

It's getting hot in here.

Loh, staff room ni kan teruk sikit. Penyaman kat sini kan macam nak rosak pulak. Dah lah orang baru balik dari makan tengah hari. Lepaz tu, penyaman tu macam tak ada angin dingin keluar darinya pulak. Ingin sangat nak makan aiskrim sekarang tetapi nak cari kat mana. Kat Cafe pun, tutup. Adoi, tak ingin nak jalan keluar lagi lah kerana terdapat banyak report nak semak. Hehehe...masalah ni, sendiri yang carikan. Jadi tak boleh lah marah sesiapa pun. Kalau rajin dari dulu, ia tak akan sampai ke tahap ini. Apa boleh I buat sekarang tetapi semak ajalah semua research tu. Dah lah banyak pulak. Hehehe...kalau tahu, I tak akan semak sekarang. Dah speed dari mula-mula lagi. Hehehe...menyesal pun tak berguna. Haih..tu lah, suruh orang jangan buat, sendiri buatkannya jugak. Biar pepatah,..... tak tahu lah pepatah tu lah. Dah lah BM I ni teruk. Hahaha...dah lah. Nak semak report ni lagi. Tengok siapa plagarize lagi. Bagi markah kosong terus dan juga menyenangkan kerja saya sebab tak payah semak yang lain.

Poem

I have created this so called poem last year while I was invigilating and I got totally bored.

Insanity

How sane is a sane people?

How insane is an insane people?

How insane is a sane people?

How sane is an insane people?

Life works in a way,

That no one can predict,

One way it works fine,

One way it does not.

We choose the way it works,

We choose the way it runs,

We choose the way it jumps,

We choose the way it rocks.

How insane is an insane people?
How sane is a sane people?
How sane is an insane people?
How insane is a sane people?

We laugh the laughter that no one laughs,

We smile the smile that no one smiles,

We kiss the kiss that no one kisses,

We work the way that no one works.

Are we sane then?

Are we insane then?

Are we half-sane then?

Are we not sane at all?

There's no right in life,

There's no wrong in life,

It's all in the mind,

That one has to decide.

We are not sane then,

We are not insane then,

We are not half-sane then,

We are just we.

The Lunch

This was the bun where there were small buns in the bigger bun.

This is the vegie where the stems were stir-fried and the leaves were deep-fried.

This is the Japanese Tofu with meat and brocolli.

This is the Asparagus with chicken meat, crackers and chicken meat with fish skin.

My Daddy's Birthday...

Yeah, yesterday was my dad birthday and yesterday marked the date that my wallet was going to be thinner by a few hundred ringgits. Hahaha...thats for a start. Eating at my Sis in Law place in Bandar Putri Puchong, the food that we had was delicious. We had a total of 2 big tables consisting of my 3rd, 4th and 5th Aunt with their families, my own family, my god-mom and my god-sis and of course my brother's in law. Hmm...let me think what do we have for lunch first.

We started off the course with asparagus with chicken surrounded by fish skin and chicken meat. Then we move to steamed fish follow by the famous abalon with sea cucumber and mushroom ( I just hated the abalon coz I don't really like to eat it. It gives out a funny taste.). Next, we have the vegie where the stems were stirred fried and the leaves were deep fried. Kinda nice actually. Oh, not forgetting the Japanese Tofu in Dumpling style. Yummy. Hmm...sadly I can't really upload all the photos now as I am in the college. Maybe later when I got back to my house and upload everything onto the comp and come online to upload the rest.

Hmm...yesterday lunch was heaven. I was so full until I literally couldn't eat my dinner at all. Hehehehe...too much stuff especially the chocolate fudge cake that was so full of choco.

(Hmm....I wonder if the rest in Aussie is having their saliva dropping out yet?)

Tea or Coffee? You or me?

Yesterday was a fiesta for us SAM teachers. Makan time was what we were having. High Tea at Hilton for the good results that the students has gotten for last year. Eating there was fun. The food was delicious especially their Curry Chicken together with the Radish Cake, Kuih Jala and Murtabak Ayam. Generally speaking, the Chef who did the High Tea yesterday wasn't as good as the one that we used to have last year. Last year was better. The food was superb, the cakes was superb and even the Ice Cream taste like the South Pole. Yesterday, suprisingly was a bit quite normal not that it was entirely bad it was just that it was a bit normal. The only thing that caught my attention among all the food was the pai tee. Delicious as I like crunchy stuffs. Yummy. Now it is making me hungry again.

All in all, the ambiance has really shaken off our tiredness right down to the core bone. After that makan thinggy, the stress level was like decreasing a lot. The only problem was that it came back right after I got back to the house and I need to mark papers again. Aih...to tell you all the truth, I still have one more class to go. After that, it would be a holiday for us.

Test...version 2.

The sound of the air cond blowing quietly in the air is all I could hear. Nothing else. Everything is quite. Everyone is not making a sound. I look around. Busy. My neighybour is busy writing his paper. Regardless of whatever is it, it is still a common test. The thing about his common test is that it is supposed to be English. The name English but I am already scretching my head not knowing what to do. Looking forward, I could only stare. Staring blankly in the front not knowing what my teacher is doing. My hand is writing though. Touching my nose, I am pondering. What's the bloody point that I should put forth. To tell the truth, I don't know what is happening. Ah...James wanted something. Stupid liquid paper. Now I have to search for it.

Sense the aura. It is quiet alright. But what can I do. Ohh...something on my mouth. Give it a dig. Looking blankly in front, will I ever get what I wanted to write. Do I even know what am I writing that's the question. Waving for attention is what I should do huh. Oh Shit, the teacher coming. Hehehe...I practically waved at him just now. Hmm...what lah. people wave only mah. Let me wave again and smile to see the effect.

Water...I need some water. Thirsty, I hope not. Teacher come here please. I have an announcemnt to make. Can you tell the class that there'll be a spec maths class after this.

Oh lord, look at the commodation that they have made just for a simple thing isn't it. What the heck lah. Ron doesn't even know my full name. That's a good start. Might as well i go back and continue on with my essay.

Stretching my head, half an hour is already gone.

My CNY

Ah...the time of the year has come for me to celebrate. Actually, I have celebrated my CNY and even my supposed to be CNY. The beauty of being a Hokkien is that you can actually celebrate your CNY twice. I have already did that during Sunday. But due to my over eagerness to have it, now I have the side effect of being sleepy most of the time. Of course lah, when you started your journey at 12.15am and only reached KL (my condo in pantai) at 2.45am. Panda eyes was what I had on Monday and tiredness is what I have been having since then. Telling myself to sleep earlier doesn't work either. It only made me sleeping later than usual.

For the past 2 days, my sleeping ealier was like 12.30 am. Earlier my foot. (By the way, the psycho teacher, Ms Shobe is laughing at the writing of the blog. :-P. LOL).

Haih, it all boils down to the simple fact of self control. Anyhow, the CNY was kinda fun on Sunday. At least I got another RM 15 ang pow. More money to spend. Hmm...maybe I should upload the photos that I have taken with the trusty Sony Ericsson afterward. Hahaha...that is when I got back to the condo and hopefully not to K.O. in 5 minutes lah.

Opps...gotta run. My last class will be having their common test at 2.00 pm after this. Hmm...this should bring back the memory to some to the famous quote "If I only knew that it was for report card, I wouldn't have to work that hard." Hahaha...beats me. Know your stuffs.

Valentine's Day

What is Valentine's day when all you gotta do is sit around in the house after a tired day of teaching especially when you've finished teaching history to a bunch of guys who know nuts about our local history.

Ah...how i wish that my loved one would celebrate the valentine with me but where am i going to find one. There are no sale in pasar malam or jusco and the nearest departmental store is in China. As you can see, China brand is not really that promising. Hehehe...

Not that I am that desperate, it is just that, what is so special about Valentine? Is this the only day where you can celebrate in a lovy dovy way? What about the rest of the 365 days. i can guarantee that the florist and cadbury is making most of the money. But what to do, it is a day where people go out together and hopefully, as most of my all boys class would love to do is to get laid. Hmm...the raging homones within their ever energetic body.

Hehehehe....talking about energetic body, i think it is time for me to be a bit energetic for the new year although there are no feel for the new year this year thanks to the ever stupid law of paying for putting on the songs. Man, how lame can this Malaysian singers be. Now, padan muka as there are no sales for them because people don't find the use to buy it as they can't play it too. Sometimes, I really sallute them for making such beautiful and laughable rules.

Oh! Oh! My room mate is snoring again. better go to sleep. 2molo got class to teach too. Provided they don't drive me up the wall again. Some classes are just so ever dunno how to glue their mouth. Wait until they come to the Semester 1 and then I'll see how they cry. But then, what else can I do when they are the one to be so arrogant in the first place. All in all, I still like my last years students as they are more responsive although there are 2 classes who are as responsible as last year for this year. It is just that, the feeling is not the same when you have shadowed of the good students last year when i was more friendlier and not giving me headaches most of the time.

Test....

Not my point of view:

The days have finally arrived. The days where we have an exam after an exam, killing us softly but quietly without us even knowing. Hmm...someone mentioned party. Oh, the SAM-eans party by SAM care. I dunno whether I am going or not. I really don't know. There's no alchohol involve you know. No alchohol, no ciggy. Where's all the fun without those things. Hmm...maybe I will consider if my friends are going. Then at least I can chill out with them. Anyway, it's only RM 20 per person. It is not as if it is the most expensive stuffs that I have been to. So what is RM 20. Just that, I dunno, I have to see the crowd. Man, the class is getting noiser as time passes by. Everybody is like discussing at the same time. Safiyya is talking with Jan about some Mawi stuff related to don't know what Ambilan. Account is the test that we're having anyway. Everybody is busy chatting about the exam. Sharing information or at least have an overload on it. Hahaha...overload for information about accounts. As if that is going to happen. Account is the easiest paper in the entire world.

Hahaha...everyone is talking about account. Jeremy is standing up courting with Claire and gang, Ing-Hau or Kenix is happily talking in the all male-dominated corner, Moong and gang is happy talking in Mandarin. The Mandarin gang I presume. Yih Sy is sleeping due to the overload of information. Yup, that's fun. Only I was memorising my entire notes all the time not caring about the world except for the girl who is sitting beside me know. Happy memorising too. We are one happy duo reading quietly not caring about the world.

Well...that's my world. The world in my class in......

(This blog entry is written by using not my point of view)

Just when you think it is not happening to you...

When you're old. You're old and when you get older, it gets worse. This is what has happened to me lately.

Self-narated:

Time..., time..., time.... I need more time. I need plenty of time. Why isn're there more than 24 hours perday. Why time must be limited to only 24. Why can't it be 28, 36 or even 48. I need more time. But what can I do. I am not god. I am not almighty. I am just me. It has never occured to me that this day will finally come when I am so blurred that I won't know what have I done with the rest of the world. I only know that the world is turning and it is still turning but I don't know how fast is it turning. Seconds passed by minutes by hours by days by months. It has been a month already and I still haven't done anything for own master research. Here I am telling the kids to do this and do that and here am I not doing this and that. Maybe it is because when we are older, your supervisor don't really push you forward into working anymore. Here am I pushing everyone to read and read and here am I not even touching a single source. Sources where I am supposed to read to write my Methodology. Hehehe...as they said, it's easier to say than to do. I am just so lazy and don't have enough time to do anything at all. Teaching 24 is not what I was hoping for but it is just that I don't really have a choice. Money is an essential part of life when you are older. You need the vitamin M to survive in this materialistic world. Things to be paid, things to be paid and things to be paid. And when you're so engrossed into whatever that you're doing, you tend to forget. You tend to forgot. You tend to have forgotten. I forget, I forgot and I have forgotten. I have forgotten to register this semester and thank god nothing happened. If not, I will have to pay another RM 1150 for another semester for nothing just because I have forgotten to register this semester. I have forgotten that I have a research to finish also this semester.

When you're old, you're old. Your tend to forget, forgot and forgotten.

Library Orientation

Aiyo...i came in late the last semester so i have missed oout most of the fun part (not) in the early semester. For this semester, I started on the dot and so I have to got through the library orientation. Quite surprisingly, it was not as boring as it looks like. A bit fun to me though although i don't really know about the students though. They might find it boring but for an academician, i find it quite useful. at least now i know that i can bug my librarians whenever that i want to for books and i can always scream at people if they tell me that there are no books in the library because during the orientation, i have found out that the librarians here will actually help you to look for the book or to suggest any books that are related to the topic that was being chosen. Cool. If such service do exists, then the students will have no reason to tell me that they can't find the book that they are looking for in the first place. Hehehe....another trick that is going down the drain for them if they ever do use it lah. :P although i do hope that they wont use it.

Anyhow, there's a lot of stuff that i have learnt from that place. at least now i know that i can actually book the computer lab for me to use to teach the kids whenever i want to use the internet. that gave me a brialliant idea on what to do during my source referencing class. Hmm...i wonder.

Nehow, eh...there's not much update yet until i can find a nice wireless system that i can use to access to the internet from my condo. Stupid condo doesnt come with telephone port for me to register. Now, i don't even know whether the provider is Maxis or Telekom. CEH!!!

Presenting the fact of live

I have read an email recently revealing about our truly colourful Malaysia. Where things are supposed to be equal amongst all of us. But in reality, is it true? Are there really some differences between me and them. Are there really muchj different in it? i ponder.

Thank you

As my principal has said, life in SAM is like a roller coaster. One time you know that you're teaching and the next moment, you're done. Now, I am back to square one. Life in SAM is really like that, huh. Anyway, I would love to take annonymus for reminding me to love my job. That gives me the direction that I should have remembered a long time ago but I have completely let go of that direction. I have forgotten what makes me a lecturer in the first place. A person to be inspired upon and a person to impart all my knowledge upon those who need it. That's the mission that I have quite forgotten.

Being in the industry for far too long can be at times quite tiring to the extend that you will forget the real mission you're on the job in the first place. When I was first teaching in Flamingo, I told my self that I would do anything in order for my students to learn. But as time passes by, I have completely forgotten why am I here, doing the job.

Loving your job is an important message that everyone should be reminded of. If you don't love your job, you are not loving yourself. Same goes in life that if you don't love what you're doing, you're not being fair to your body. I wanna be fair to my body. I wanna be fair to myself. I wanna be fair to my kids. I just wanna be fair.

p/s: Kids, grow strong. The world is never an easy place for us to be in. But that doesn't mean that we cannot make it anywhere easier. Just be easy on yourself and don't push yourself way too hard. Congratulation for succeeding in completeing SAM with good results. CHEERS.